Half-way

I round the corner and look for the clock in the distance.  As soon as I see it I want to know the time.  Its the halfway mark in a long-distance running race.  Once I see the time, the questions begin.  What is my pace?  If I stay at this pace what will be my finishing time?  Can I keep this pace?  Can I go faster or should I slow down a bit? How does my heart feel, can I still breathe?  How many more hills are there?  How far back is the next girl?  How close is the girl in front of me?  Can I finish?  What was I thinking to do this in the first place?!

The end of October marked nine months of being in Cameroon and half way through the 18 month project.  A couple of days ago I realized that the same questions that I ask myself at the midpoint during any long distance race are the same questions I've been asking myself lately about this project.  Well, not the ones about the competition, but all the other ones.

Unlike races where you never are supposed to look behind you, I think when it comes to project implementation it is helpful to look behind and remember God's faithfulness and provision.  When I step back from the day-to-day details of keeping the project going and have time to reflect I am always amazed that we even received the grant in the first place, my supportive and adept research team, the professional and personal connections in Kumbo, the work that has been completed so far, and more recently, the political calm after electing the 29 year -reigning President Biya to another 7-year term.  Before I left for Cameroon I had MANY pre-race nerves.  It was like choosing to do the hardest, painful, longest race I've ever done all over again, but this time with a completely different goal.  How would I administer the budget and navigate a foreign banking system?  How would we recruit all of the women?  How would we develop a quality program?  How will the political climate effect my ability to work and live?  How will I deal with the inevitable loneliness and isolation?  What if it all falls apart?

This past Tuesday we officially started the intervention phase of the project.  Prior to this week I was worried that I wouldn't have the energy to begin this next phase as I knew it would be the start of a logistical nightmare--trying to make over 1,000 photocopies of various forms when the electricity can go off at any minute, arranging for food, health workers, and participants to come on time when there is no time, getting women to answer 42 questions about breastfeeding when they can barely read and write, and paying for everyone's transportation with small bills when none exist in the country.  But as the day grew closer, I became excited and was reminded of a famous line from a running partner in California, "Ok, we're doing it!"  After over a year and half of wondering what this would be like, if we would really get to the intervention phase, if the people would really come, if I could really juggle it all and remain patient and trust, it happened.  They did come.  They did listen to the first segment of the audio program.  They did fill out the forms.  Ok, not completely, but for the most part. It is just the beginning of the most intense phase of the whole project, there are still many more weeks to go, more details to figure out, but we're doing it.  And if this is like any other hard thing I've done in my life, its easier once you get past the halfway point.  

Lord, You established peace for us, all that we have accomplished you have done for us. 

Isaiah 26:12